When exchanging feedback with other writers, have you ever heard things like:
Don’t coddle me
I don’t need you to be nice
Skip the fluff, I’ve got thick skin
Just give it to me straight
I’ve heard many variations on these statements, and it signals a significant misunderstanding of the purpose of praise between writers; namely, that praise is nothing more than fluff, an accommodation for sensitive writers who need the blow of critiques to be softened by flattery. It even implies that when the writers saying these things receive praise, they automatically believe it to be dishonest, which reveals three sad possibilities about how they’re thinking about praise: they may be highly self-critical of their own writing, the praise they give to others may be dishonest, and/or they may have become embittered by receiving token praise in the past.
On the other hand, maybe you’re in a critique group that values positive feedback, but it’s not usually substantial. The positive portion of the feedback might be something along the lines of “I loved the overall story” while the critique portion might be detailed multi-sentence explanations attached to specific passages. I myself have given feedback like this, and I was well-intentioned. But when praise is tacked on as only an introduction to detailed critique, it can feel like the fluff those cynical writers are talking about.
While I argue in favor of praise between writers, I don’t mean just any kind of praise—I mean specific praise, honest praise, and praise without agenda. Dishonest, vague, and/or controlling praise can be ineffective and, in some cases, even detrimental. This post will only cover specific praise, but stay tuned for Part 2 to learn about the other two aspects.
Specific Praise Is a Mirror
An important goal of critique is to hold up a mirror to the writer so they can evaluate the needs of their work in an informed way before revising. And in my opinion, critique that includes positive feedback is a more accurate mirror than solely negative critique.
My perspective on specific praise comes directly from my time as a high school English teacher. In my master’s program, I read research showing how important specific praise is for students. For example, Chalk and Bizo conclude this in a 2004 study of fourth graders titled Specific Praise Improves On-Task Behavior and Numeracy Enjoyment:
When praise is specific it carries with it more information than a purely positive remark, and thus affords pupils more control of their learning. We argue that specific praise is more effective at promoting the behaviour it reinforces because it makes the contingency between behaviour and praise more explicit.
In other words, specific praise is effective at reinforcing behaviors because it makes it clear what behavior the praise is actually connected to—AKA, it’s a more accurate mirror, so the recipient is better informed as to what they did well.
When I applied this strategy with teenage students, I was blown away by how it helped them grow. Once I told a student, “I heard you cite your classmate’s point when you made your argument. It really helped me connect the dots between your ideas.” Not only did they light up, but they started citing their classmates more frequently during other lessons, without being asked to do so, and reinforced their own good speaking and listening habits.
When I’ve applied the same strategy with adult writers, I’ve not only been told that my feedback is motivating and useful, but I’ve seen writing strengthen between drafts. I don’t think we grow out of this human need for positive reflection just because we grow up.
Specific Praise Between Writers
In a writing context, specific positive feedback tells us what to keep, and what to keep doing. When someone praises my writing with specificity, it tells me that something is working, and I should keep it and build on it. For me, sometimes no news means bad news; if I get radio silence on a large section of writing, I might assume it’s not doing what I wanted it to and start changing and deleting. Hearing detailed description of why something works, on the other hand, allows me to:
Set aside that part of my book as effective and stop wondering if it’s landing
Use the information about how that part of my book is landing to inform the writing that comes next
Understand why my writing is working so I can replicate it in the future
What I mean by that last bullet point is that specific praise can reinforce good writing habits beyond the text at hand. When I’m told that something in my writing is working, I am more likely to do that type of writing again elsewhere in the manuscript—and in my writing life in general. I told a client once that a section of banter between their MC and love interest was funny and filled with chemistry. They were shocked and confessed they never expected they’d be able to write banter. And guess what? The next story I read from them had even more banter, and it was even better. Holding up a mirror to what was working wasn’t about stroking the author’s ego; rather, it helped them make more informed writing choices.
How to Give Specific Praise
The reason specific praise is harder than critique is because we’re geared to see the negatives first. The irony is that the easier and faster a section of writing is to read, the harder and longer the writer probably worked on it!
So, if you’re critiquing and go silent in your notes for a while, that might be a sign the writer is doing something well. That means that in order to give specific praise, a key step is going back. Here’s a full breakdown of my strategy:
Negatives. Take notes on the negatives like normal. Those are still important!
Go Back & Identify Feelings. Now that you’ve gotten the negatives out of your system, go back to the sections you breezed through. Ask yourself what you felt while you read (excitement, fear, surprise, arousal, wanting to yell at a character for the choices they’re making…).
Name the Source of the Feeling. When you identify a feeling, pause. See if you can name what the writer did to evoke that feeling. Put your findings in your notes to the best of your ability.
Reverse the Order in Delivery. Consider reversing the order of your feedback when you actually deliver it, digitally* or verbally. The writer never has to know the order you wrote it in, and the fact is, some of us (me) ARE sensitive, and praise DOES soften the blow of critique when it comes first. Is that so terrible? If it’s honest and stated separately from the critique, it can be both practical and kind.
*If you’re leaving comments in google docs, the timestamps don’t actually detract from the praise. ;)
One of my writing partners suggested a clever alternate strategy, so if the above doesn’t resonate with you, consider trying this instead:
Go Back & Search for Contrast. Ask what your critiques are standing in contrast to. Sometimes the negatives pop out so much because they come right after writing that’s working; for example, I’m more likely to notice a section with talking heads if the section right before it is filled with rich imagery and action. So try naming the good stuff the writer was doing before they stopped doing it.
Examples of Specific Praise
Naming why writing works can be tricky if you haven’t had a lot of formal training. Over time you can apply more vocabulary (“prose,” “dialogue,” “pacing,” “characterization,” etc.), but even if those words don’t feel available to you in the moment, an honest attempt to describe why something worked for you is better than limiting your feedback out of fear of not sounding like a Real Writer. I’ve gotten some truly excellent feedback from untrained beta readers who simply have a healthy trust of their feelings and are creative in how they explain them.
That being said, if you’re not sure where to start, take a look at some examples of descriptive positive feedback I’ve given writing partners or clients:
This made me chuckle. Good characterization through the whistling and jokey dialogue
Nice development―there’s now a small mystery as to what so-and-so is actually doing here, which pulls the story forward as the reader wants to find the answer
The way you write this story (the minimalist conversations broken up by periods of silence) FEELS quiet. It’s overall so well done. The omniscient perspective holds us at a distance from both characters as well, which contributes to that quietness
Nice characterization here—hint of hypervigilance
You weave in backstory so efficiently and seamlessly here!
You immediately give sensory details when we’re taken to this new setting. It oriented me so naturally I barely realized it at first!
That tone of foreboding again! Yessss
This choice of sensory detail not only immerses me in the character’s experience, but it tells me so-and-so is really focused on flaws, so it’s developing their characterization, too
It doesn’t always take much! If you have the energy, a longer analysis of what’s working can be so useful to the writer. But if it’s the final hour before your critique group starts and you’re busting through the last submission (what? I’ve never done that, shhhh) then consider the following options:
A Love this-style comment (or even an emoji) on a particular line or paragraph still narrows down what’s working more than a general “good job” at the end of the document
A slightly expanded comment (for example, Love the character’s miffed tone here) gives the writer more targeted information to help them figure out what made that section work
Even small changes like that can create a more accurate and useful mirror for the author. Instead of feeling like you have to become an expert at specific praise right away, add just a touch more specificity here and there the next time you exchange critiques with someone. The feedback you’ll get ON your feedback might blow you away and create a delicious cycle of productive praise.
Just Give It To Them Straight
I can’t tell you how much I have never regretted taking the time to give specific praise. I believe “just giving it to a writer straight” should include what’s working—that’s almost certainly a more straight picture of the writer’s piece than highlighting only the negatives and ignoring the positives.
Plus, think of the long game. Your efforts could be the first step toward cultivating a culture of specific praise between you and your writing partners. I have built long-lasting writing relationships because of how much trust this kind of communication builds. Consider putting this kind of energy out there, then see what comes back to you.
You might even find yourself applying this strategy in other contexts. Think about how much it would mean to a romantic partner or friend to hear not just that you like them, but specifically something you saw them do that you like about them. In his excellent book Not Light, But Fire, educator Matthew R. Kay discusses the use of detailed compliments to build trust between students, and at one point he writes something that applies far beyond the classroom:
The need to feel appreciated is human, as is the desire to be celebrated for one’s contributions. I tell students after introducing the activity, “That person you are thinking about, right now. Yes, that person. They are sitting there hoping that someone says something nice about them right now. Ignore their averted eyes, and know that any cool-kid smirks are fraudulent. They want to hear what you have to say.”
Like I said earlier, I don’t think we grow out of the human need for positive reflection just because we grow up. So let’s give it to each other straight and say some descriptive positives.
Next Up: Honest Praise Without Agenda
Next time, I’ll discuss the benefits of praise between writers being honest and without agenda. Stay tuned for Part 2!
Author News
A Christmas at Highbury
Michelle Cox just released A Christmas at Highbury, a delightful Christmas novella in her Henrietta and Inspector Howard series. I haven’t read it yet, but I can’t wait, and I’m recommending it based purely on loving her other writing. Any story from Michelle is sure to have wit and charm!
Clive and Henrietta return for Christmas!
Clive and Henrietta (and baby, Teddy!) return to Highbury to spend Christmas with the family. Clive’s mother, Antonia, schemes to increase her social standing at her club by introducing the pair during the annual Christmas ball as the newly minted Lord and Lady Linley. Her plans go awry, however, when the club’s collection of gifts for the poor mysteriously goes missing. Henrietta and Clive are reluctantly drawn into the case, though Clive suspects it is nothing more than a silly prank.
But when it is discovered that a young woman from the club is likewise missing a valuable necklace, the detective duo begins to wonder if the two incidents are connected. With every clue revealed, it seems more and more likely that one of the club’s most stalwart members may be involved. In order to get the gifts delivered to the neediest of the community on time, Henrietta and Clive race to unravel the mystery before Christmas Day dawns . . .
True Stories: The Narrative Project, Volume VII
I had a ton of fun proofreading this collection of beautiful memoir excerpts written by emerging writers through The Narrative Project. If you like relatable autobiographical stories on a wide variety of topics (everything from recovering from religious trauma to the challenges of being a female park ranger in the early 1970s), keep tabs on this anthology! It will go on sale November 19 and release December 3.
The emerging writers from The Narrative Project's year-long programs have harnessed their creativity, cultivated their skills, and nurtured their voices in a supportive, collaborative environment. True Stories is the celebration of their efforts!
Each heartfelt piece showcases the author's unique perspective born from a year of dedication, mentorship, and community. Participants thrived through monthly narrative skills-building classes, intensive retreats, and intimate editorial groups, where they received invaluable feedback from published authors and fellow writers.
This anthology is more than just a collection of stories—it's a testament to resilience, growth, and the power of shared experiences. As these scribes tackled their individual challenges and triumphs, they forged connections that will last well beyond the program, exemplifying the spirit of support and accountability that defines their cohort.
Join us as we celebrate the creativity and commitment of these writers. Discover the magic that unfolds when passion meets perseverance and be inspired by the stories that emerge when a group of dedicated individuals comes together to make their literary dreams a reality. Dive into True Stories and witness the incredible transformation of aspiring authors into published storytellers!
His Goose Is Cooked
S. C. Mills published their short story “His Goose Is Cooked” through comedy lit mag Humour Me Magazine in August! This story made me laugh even while troubling me with its dark themes, which is just what satire should do. And it’s free to read! S. C. summarizes the story thus: “A satirical near-future sci-fi about bodily autonomy and one man’s right to choose.”
Treading Water
Congratulations to Emily Smiley for winning first place in the PNWA unpublished novel contest in the horror genre! I had the honor of line editing the winning excerpt of her spec-fic/horror manuscript-in-progress Treading Water, and OH MY GOD, it healed me even while it scared the shit out of me. Ever since reading it, I’ve been craving more horror books to fill the hole it left. I strongly suggest following her progress so you can read this book the moment it hits the shelves.
Dallas London’s brother drowned off the coast of Maui, and she might be losing her mind. At least, that was her first thought when she started hearing the voices. As her hallucinations worsen, she’s left wondering if she would have been better off as the one who sunk into the Pacific abyss.
Now back home in San Francisco after looking for her brother’s body, Dallas learns someone else has gone missing, triggering her in a big way. She hallucinates a monster during her therapy appointment. And again in the bathroom of her favorite bar. And, oh yeah, she thought she heard a weird voice in her ex-boyfriend’s apartment this morning, but it was probably nothing. Because monsters aren’t real. Deny, deny, deny becomes her mantra until her imaginary monster actually tries to kill her.
Enter: Death. A snarky, sexy young woman who presents Dallas with a proposition. If Dallas finds out who is stealing the souls of the drowned, Death will protect Dallas from her very real monster problem. Desperate, Dallas accepts. The cost includes a quick trip to Hell—not a big deal; Dallas has been in hell since her brother died. But it will also force her to face her grief—which is enough to make her wish she’d just let the monster finish the job in the first place.
The Cartomancer’s Curse: Now In Print!
My sapphic enemies-to-lovers novella The Cartomancer’s Curse is now available in print!! If you are looking for a witchy, spicy, cozy romantasy this winter, this might be your perfect next read. Also available on Kindle Unlimited!
A psychic card reader. A guilt-ridden thief. A magical mystery to unravel.
Armed with a chaotic deck of cards and the psychic ability to taste people’s desires, cartomancer Meridian Fletcher tells fortunes from a small Seattle shop. This funds her one escape: a remote cabin, safe from the overwhelming flavors of other people’s wishes. But when thieves ransack her cabin and steal her cards, her happy place in the woods is suddenly at risk—and her livelihood, too.
One of those thieves is Wren Piper, a striking lumbersnack of a woman whose guilt drives her to confess. Wren wants to make amends, but Meridian wants nothing to do with her . . . except she can’t let go of the mysterious flavor she senses from Wren: molasses. It’s a desire she’s never encountered before.
That damn molasses must mean something, and Meridian draws cards for Wren to discover what. But the reading reveals more than either woman expects, and they cut it short. Doing so saddles them with a curse, and now they’re stuck together until they break it. Yet, the more Meridian learns about Wren’s desires—and her own desire for Wren—the less she minds being stuck with her.
THE CARTOMANCER’S CURSE is a steamy enemies-to-lovers romantasy in which two women succumb to desire, explore sexual bondage, and unravel a magical mystery.
Your Thoughts on Specific Praise?
To what extent has specific praise helped you, as a writer or just as a person? If you’ve done this before, what has the result been? I’d love to hear from you in the comments or over email.
Now Booking Edits for January & February
I’m now booking edits for January and February 2025. If you’re in need of editing services, contact me in advance so I can hold a spot in my schedule for you!
Looking for an Editor?
I specialize in copyediting and proofreading. I additionally offer and greatly enjoy manuscript assessments, developmental editing, and line editing. I am primarily seeking genre fiction projects, especially fantasy, romance (🌶️ welcome!), LGBTQ+, or all three combined. I also enjoy editing memoir, literary fiction, poetry, creative nonfiction, instructional/self-help nonfiction, and professional writing, though I am always open to considering other projects. If you’re interested in working with me, click the link below for more information!
Photo attached to social media posts by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash
This was so valid and educational. I am happy to have been on the receiving end of some excellent constructive comments from you Kaitlin, and it not only helped the story in question, but I believe I grew from your advice.
I love getting praise in comments (as we all do) but specific praise or endorsement feels like something to work with. I'm saving this post to refer back.
Yeah I typically find it easier to find positives than to find negatives....Amen to specific praise rather than vague praise. In fact, it amazes me how few people understand the power of specific praise. So when I say something specific, even if it's on something I'm not good at (like photography), I already stand out. Since everyone else just says something like, "Nice!" "Great photo!"
My book coach gives me specific feedback on my drafts. Even when they're "critical," they don't feel critical, as they sound kind, not pushy. She doesn't get offended if I disagree with a suggestion, either, since she knows it's not personal. (I think it's helpful when we disagree, though, since it shows me that readers could interpret something differently from how I did.) My coach definitely gives me a lot of specific praise, which is not only encouraging, but shows me things I'm doing well on. I was surprised when my coach said I was very skilled at writing chapter hooks, so that readers want to flip to the next chapter, lol. I had always thought I was doing standard-fare cliffhanger-ish chapter ends, because that's the way everyone does it. But she made me realize that not everybody does it.