Queernorm Writing
Let's Write A New Reality
Cisheteronormativity in Life
At its most basic, a “heteronormative” perspective is one that assumes heterosexuality is the default/normal sexuality; a “cisnormative” perspective assumes everyone is—or should be—the same gender they were assigned at birth. That’s the reason many queer people feel they need to come out—because they are correcting the automatic assumption that they’re straight or cis. Cisheteronormativity also carries a cloud of other assumptions with it, such as:
Everyone wants a romantic partner; if you’re single, something’s wrong
Marriage is the goal
Everyone wants kids
Every couple is able to have kids
Someone has to be the “man” in the relationship, even for F/F couples*
Strict monogamy is the healthiest kind of partnership
*On a somewhat related note, there’s nothing wrong with butch/femme dynamics—you’ll know I’m a fan if you read my writing, LOL—but it shouldn’t be assumed that all F/F relationships fall into those roles
Those are just a few examples of many. Cisheteronormativity is the social water we swim in, and when we deviate, there are consequences—even for cishet people.
Cisheteronormativity in Fiction
It makes sense, then, that these perspectives are everywhere in fiction, too. And that’s not automatically bad—fiction is one of the ways we process reality, so of course it would mirror cisheteronormativity. Some general examples:
Boy characters are expected to marry girl characters
Characters in M/F relationships are assumed to be straight (as opposed to pansexual, bisexual . . .)
Crowds are addressed as “ladies and gentlemen” (among other gender-binary language)
A character admitting they’re queer is a shocking reveal
Queer characters’ stories center around coming to terms with their gender and/or sexuality as though that’s their whole personality
Femme characters always have vulvas and masc characters always have penises
Gay characters are flamboyant and work in fashion
Only trans characters are asked for their pronouns
If a writer is intentionally representing cisheteronormativity, that is often just writing realistically, and in some cases it’s actively preventing erasure of true LGBTQ+ experiences. Yay! But that word intentionally does matter.
An example that I’m on the fence about crops up in Sarah J. Maas’s famous ACOTAR series when main character Feyre is angry at Morrigan for avoiding another male character’s romantic interest. The conflict is resolved when Morrigan confesses that she prefers to be with women. Feyre has assumptions that seem unrelated to her character growth—that a man’s interest requires a woman’s decision, that Morrigan is straight . . . Don’t get me wrong, I’m an ACOTAR fan, AND I think representation of homophobia is valuable in fiction. My question is: Is that representation of cisheteronormativity and homophobia serving the story and the characters, or is it just there because it’s hard to imagine another way to live?
Showing homophobia and transphobia in fiction can be powerful, and I’ll absolutely have a good healing cry while reading a beautiful coming-out story. But I’d love if writers made an intentional choice about what kind of world they’re writing, rather than defaulting to cisheteronormativity because they don’t know there’s another option. As she was reading my draft of this newsletter post, my partner Hazel summarized what I’m trying to say like this: “Cisheteronormativity shapes our expectations, which shape our fictional worlds, and then queer characters stick out or face prejudice because those assumptions are left unchallenged.”
The darker side of cisheteronormativity in fiction is the glorification of queer trauma, intentional or not. The reality of prejudice and hate toward LGBTQ+ people is so important to know and talk about—again, I will read those stories and have good healing cries about them—but when the majority of queer stories revolve around trauma-by-bigotry, it may reinforce the idea that queer people’s natural destiny is pain and suffering. That in turn can make it harder to come out, because it could convey to queer readers that being queer is equivalent to being in pain. To quote Hazel again: “No one’s out there telling trans kids in the closet how good it feels to be themselves.”
Queernorm Writing
In queernorm worlds, being queer is unremarkable, expected, or even assumed. That's the kind of world I wish I lived in—so that’s the kind of world I write, too. I write a new reality into existence.
I don’t want to take away any stories that mirror the real LGBTQ+ experience of bigotry. And I especially don’t want to take away stories that show that real experience AND have queer happy endings. Those stories are beautiful. But queernorm writing is another option that’s important to consider because it imagines a world beyond queer trauma.
What’s cool is that if your main character is straight and/or cis, you can still write a queernorm world! (Fourth Wing did it.) Some examples of what you could try:
Your narrator can casually refer to people using singular they/them pronouns without needing to explain (I mean, we assume cis people’s pronouns all the time, right?)
A straight main character can tell a girl character “that hot girl at the bar keeps looking at you”
A male character can be trans with no fanfare (maybe the fact that he’s trans gets mentioned casually two thirds of the way through the book and you can give a little jolt to our unconscious assumptions about gender, but the narrator/characters have all just been interacting with him normally, as a man, with no shocking reveal)
A bisexual woman in an M/F marriage could casually mention an ex-girlfriend
A male character’s husband could be mentioned in passing, neutrally (again, no fanfare)
Consider writing stories in which it’s normal and expected for queer people to exist. Try weaving casual details in without shining a spotlight. It’s pleasantly addictive!
What If I Get It Wrong?
Maybe you want to write queer characters and intentionally show them combatting the reality of cisheteronormativity, or maybe you’re interested in writing queernorm stories like me. Either way, it’s easy to feel paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong. If that’s you, I have three pieces of advice for you:
Visit this web page from the Conscious Style Guide. There are links to various articles that will help you replace stereotypes with reality.
To my overwhelmed neurodivergent readers, start with just one small thing instead of feeling like you have to learn it all right now. Your brain CAN learn new things through exposure and practice, over time. Just put one more little twig on the fire for now.
Remember that authenticity readers are a thing for authors writing outside their lived experience. Get the draft out and then research queer editors who offer this service (they are often freelancers like me).
Avoid a few common pitfalls when writing queer characters:
Making being queer a character’s whole purpose
Making characters queer for convenience, like making a best friend gay so they can’t be a romantic rival
Leaning on stereotypes, like trans women having to be super tall, lesbians having to be butch, and gay men having to be flamboyant
Let’s Disrupt Cisheteronormativity Together
Fiction is uniquely positioned to combat cisheteronormativity. Personally, I like to make all my featured characters queer! If that sounds fun to you, check out my debut novella, The Cartomancer’s Curse (coming out on e-book in three days, EEEK). It’s a cozy queernorm romantasy, and be prepared for spice!
Writing worlds like this has helped me challenge my biases in the real world (being queer has not made me immune to unconscious bias, not by a long shot). I hope it has the same effect for you. Have fun disrupting cisheteronormativity in yourself and in your fiction!
Author News
The Cartomancer’s Curse
Yep, me again. Can’t help it—I’m so excited! My book is coming out in three days!!! I am releasing a spicy enemies-to-lovers F/F romantasy, The Cartomancer’s Curse, on September 19 as part of a multi-author project called Cards of Passion, which was spearheaded by sex educator Donna Jennings. Each book is a standalone story (I’m #7) but they have fun easter eggs with details from the other books sprinkled in. Scroll down for the story teaser, and consider preordering!
A psychic card reader. A guilt-ridden thief. A magical mystery to unravel.
Armed with a chaotic deck of cards and the psychic ability to taste people’s desires, cartomancer Meridian Fletcher tells fortunes from a small Seattle shop. This funds her one escape: a remote cabin, safe from the overwhelming flavors of other people’s wishes. But when thieves ransack her cabin and steal her cards, her happy place in the woods is suddenly at risk—and her livelihood, too.
One of those thieves is Wren Piper, a striking lumbersnack of a woman whose guilt drives her to confess. Wren wants to make amends, but Meridian wants nothing to do with her . . . except she can’t let go of the mysterious flavor she senses from Wren: molasses. It’s a desire she’s never encountered before.
That damn molasses must mean something, and Meridian draws cards for Wren to discover what. But the reading reveals more than either woman expects, and they cut it short. Doing so saddles them with a curse, and now they’re stuck together until they break it. Yet, the more Meridian learns about Wren’s desires—and her own desire for Wren—the less she minds being stuck with her.
THE CARTOMANCER’S CURSE is a steamy enemies-to-lovers romantasy in which two women succumb to desire, explore sexual bondage, and unravel a magical mystery.
The Deed with the Duke
The eighth book in the Cards of Passion series is The Deed with the Duke, by romance and erotica author Sri Savita. I copy edited this one and HOLY SHIT, the chemistry between Raaz and Camelia is off the charts! This is an M/F regency romance featuring Indian characters in a delightful grumpy-sunshine pairing. They find themselves growing dangerously close as their fates swirl around a cottage with contested ownership. I laughed, I cried, I fanned myself. And then I went back and re-read because oops, forgot I was supposed to be editing. Releases September 26!
She didn’t gamble on love.
SHE HAS THE DEED.
Camelia Parikh is a fallen woman trying to start over. When she wins the deed to a cottage in a card game, she believes her luck has finally changed. A charming coastal village seems like the perfect place to begin again, far from London and her romantic regrets. That is, until the stern Duke of Wednesbury arrives to claim the deed and cottage as his.
HE HAS THE TITLE.
Raaz Panchal, the new Duke of Wednesbury, is searching for the missing deed to his late father’s beloved cottage, and he travels to the countryside to investigate. But once there, he learns the home is not vacant, and a beguiling woman claims it’s her property now. When her deed proves genuine, Raaz prepares to leave, but then fate collapses the stable roof. Duty to his father’s memory–and certainly not a pair of alluring amber eyes–compels him to help.
TOGETHER, CAN THEY HAVE IT ALL?
Camelia cautiously accepts the duke’s assistance, but between a bold badger, a moonlit waltz, and dangerous late-night wagers, it’s impossible to keep her distance from the devastatingly handsome duke. When they surrender to temptation, she can no longer ignore their differences in station or the mistakes of her past, but her traitorous heart already wishes for a future that’s surely out of reach.
THE DEED WITH THE DUKE is a steamy, lust-at-first-sight Regency romance with a grumpy Indian hero, a sunshine Indian heroine, and adorable animal antics.
Wild Within
I did a beta read in the early stages of Henrietta Holland’s touching novel Wild Within. (Henrietta is author #5 in the Cards of Passion series!) The message of this small-town M/F romance is about loving your body and being vulnerable enough to let someone else love your body after you’ve been hurt. I was moved by Molly and Josh’s heartwarming romance even during the first draft, and I can’t wait to read it in its final form. I’m so grateful to Henrietta for writing this healing journey!
Hope may be a state of mind, but it’s also represented by the small town Molly escapes to after her divorce. With two kids in tow, she purchases a bookshop and gets down to the business of recreating her life. She’s happy, content, and satisfied—except for that voice in her head.
“Why are you wearing white pants? They make your ass look fat.”
“It’d be great if your boobs were bigger. You should get a boob job.”
“Who would want you? Just look at yourself.”
As Molly wrestles with her thoughts, Josh, her gorgeous, green-eyed hunk of a neighbor, stumbles into her yard as she’s gardening. He’s an injured former police officer getting on with his life after months of recovery. Molly keeps him at arm’s length, but dreams of him at night. He offers her friendship. Or more, if she’s willing.
Can Molly let go of her past, find a way to stifle the voice in her head, and let this man into her life—and her bed?
WILD WITHIN is a steamy MF small-town romance in which a woman learns to accept herself, love her body, and open herself to possibilities.
Your Thoughts on Queernorm Writing?
I always have more to learn, and I would love to hear from you. If you’re a historical writer, for example, I’m curious how you might mix in queernorm elements despite the limitations of history. And if you kept thinking of another identity that gets unconsciously erased in fiction as you read this post, please share!
Now Booking
I’m now booking for late fall and winter. If you’re in need of editing services, make sure to contact me in advance so I can hold a spot in my schedule for you!
Looking for an Editor?
I specialize in copy editing and proofreading. I also offer and greatly enjoy substantive editing (manuscript assessments and line editing). I am primarily seeking genre fiction projects, especially fantasy, romance (🌶️ welcome!), LGBTQ+, or all three combined. I also enjoy editing memoir, literary fiction, poetry, creative nonfiction, instructional/self-help nonfiction, and professional writing. If you’re interested in working with me, click the link below and ask me for more information or a free sample edit!
Really enjoyed this post Kaitlin, I am aware of a need to shift my perspective and your tips are so relatable that already my feet are on a surer path.
You've whet my appetite with your previews too - your novel sounds a fascinating plot journey.
Amazing article! So many truths in it!